When people judge you, it’s mostly never about you. It’s just a People’s opinion and it’s about them being hurt or wounded.
How do I say it? Because I have been hurt too and if we are being honest we have all been hurt or wounded at least a few times in life.
Now you have to put that hurt out somewhere, If you are a decent person you might just hide it in your mind.
But if your not the decent type you’ll vent it out on social media or show it off online.
Now when this hurt grows you might even say bad things to someone which is actually nothing about them but it’s all about you being hurt.
So now when you are on the other side hearing those bad things said about you, it might hurt you personally and might ruin your day but you never realize it was never about you. It was just the abuser who wasn’t emotionally stable.
Your mind creates a story where you are the victim and everyone else around you are bullies leading you to tag yourself as a loser.
Now, I won’t say you need to completely stop taking things personally, but you have to be smart enough to analyze why those things are being said about you.
Is it true or is it just an opinion that has no value to you? In simple terms is it Constructive or destructive to you.
Now, the best way to analyze it is knowing your self-worth, knowing what you’re capable of and what your weaknesses are. It’s definitely not going to be easy but it’s worth a try.
Let’s understand it by a simple example
Let’s suppose you have a thousand dollars with you, and some thief stole one dollar from that amount.
Does it affect you much? Because it’s just one dollar right. You obviously won’t ruin your day thinking and crying about it all day long.
Similarly if out of so many hours of your precious life if someone ruins a minute of your time by saying something bad about you, should you think about it and ruin the entire day or just forget about it and do things which actually matter. Makes sense right?
Now, let’s have a look at few tricks which will help you out in the process of taking things not so personally
Know Your Capability and Self-Worth
When you are your own judge. People’s opinion or judgment won’t affect you much. Everyone has their own struggles in life so different people have different perceptions but that’s just people’s opinion.
So once you know your self-worth and what qualities make you valuable. You wouldn’t be affected by the lies told about you.
Being Authentic actually means putting your thoughts first before anyone else and being what you want you to be rather than what the world wants you to be.
You’re the sailor of your own boat, make sure you know your boat well before anyone tries to sink that boat. Let go of the feeling to be someone who you know you can never be. Value yourself rather than looking for validation elsewhere.
Don’t be afraid to make mistakes
To be what you wish to be you need to learn new things and make mistakes. Remember mistakes are a part of life, you cannot be perfect nor people’s opinion is perfect.
Mistakes are what helps you grow, but once you forgive yourself and learn the lesson, the mistake is no more a mistake but just a trigger to teach you a lesson.
So don’t be sad when things don’t go according to you, if everything could be perfect, life would be so boring.
Set your Limits and Boundaries
Knowing yourself includes setting boundaries to be brave enough to say no to things that you don’t want to do.
You might feel the urge to do things just to please someone but you need to remember you cannot always please everyone around you. No matter how sweet an apple tastes there’s someone out there who doesn’t like apples.
That doesn’t make the apple less sweet. So do just enough that brings value to your own life rather than trying to burden yourself to be likable every time.
Learn to Let It Go
We all have that wound buried deep in our heart which never fades away.
But you need to let it go. Learn to forget and be sensible enough that struggles are a part of life.
Until you move on from your past you can never be able to grow and be valuable. Use the hurt to make you stronger and confident.
Stop expecting Kindness from everywhere
If you are kind to someone doesn’t mean you’ll be treated the same way nor it should stop you from being kind because you can control your own actions but not how others behave. Don’t let people’s opinion affect you.
It’s unfair to expect someone’s approval and acceptance for you in return for your kindness nor should it affect you if they are not what you perceive them to be.
It’s important to focus on your own journey before figuring out and judging other’s paths.
Set Peace as your priority
While being in an uncomfortable situation where you are dealing with someone who is difficult to deal with.
Try telling yourself that you need to handle things in a way that won’t disturb your inner peace. Also allowing yourself to be kind and calmer even if the person doesn’t react according to you.
When you make peace with your ultimate goal things start to turn easier. While taking everything right to the heart and ego will worsen the situation. No wise person is ever rude or impatient.
He knows how to control his feelings to be able to take advantage of even the most difficult situations. It’s hard to achieve that state but it’s worse not to try.
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